"L IS FOR LOOZER"...

or "WILL THE REAL QUEEN OF THE LAND PLEASE STAND UP?"

Previously, on Survivor:

The silencing of the Silas Asinine Comment Tracker bums out the Bashers of all Blowsland.

We dedicate this verse, in memorium of the SAC, to ItzLisa and dangerkitty:

Six little piggies went to swap-meet, six little piggies stayed home
Six little piggies won poultry, six little piggies got none
Six little piggies played puzzle, Mama and T-bird played dumb,
This little piggy squealed <ping><ping><ping> all the way home!!!

Opening Credits

(yawn, commercial.)

What’s this? The first commercial is for new Pepsi TWIST with lemon. Wow, watch the identities shift THREE times in one short commercial. Hear the word TWIST uttered nine times. “Do you like TWISTS?” it asks us?

Sure, Mark Burnett, twists are like a lemon tree, very pretty--a little hard to swallow for some, but ZINGY for the jaded palate. So refreshing, it’s a whole new can of Pepsi now.

Bornagains’ Commune
Night 15

Ethan: Jiffy got into my head and messed with it on purpose. He wants to drive me insane. Assumed merge--maybe no merge--maybe so merge... I am not at all paranoid I tell you!

Identities have shifted since the TWIST.
Sadly, Ethan’s curls, the ones the girls all wanted to finger-comb–are now saturated with SweatandDust styling gel and entwined into sticky Rasta-Medusa type tendrils.

Even scarier, Ethan starts channeling Silas’ prodigious math abilities.

Ethan: We have food for three more days ‘til the merge. If there’s no merge, in three days we have no more food.

MamaKim: We have three chickens. (Profundity from the tribal Wise Woman)

Gee, that’s one chicken a day if the merge comes on time. Silas could figure that one out! Now we see the tribe’s deepest fears revealed. If the merge is delayed, they’ll all be tackling the dreaded Chicken Fractions!

Samebubu Sleepover
Day 16

Lex is getting a mite cranky from standing watch for the kiddos, who believe camping out in Africa entails throwing a log on the fire and hitting the sack. Lions? What lions?

Lex: (confessional) It was painfully obvious the moment we stepped foot in camp here that we had three people here who were here for a Club Med vacation, they weren't here to do anything but nap and eat and make a couple meals.
(Yeah, and they didn’t share the crispies either)

Lindsey: Oh, was your shift long? Was it really that long?

Lindsey: (confessional) I think we’re all a little stressed right now to find out the new people are just as gung-ho about security as JustDie Frank.

Theoretically we’re a new tribe but you can’t help thinking about your old tribe, meaning the tribe where WE had the power and the other two had their heads on the chopping block. Surely they voted out Frank over there, I mean, he’s so manipulative, they will have seen right through his act.
(They did Lindsey; they saw right through it.)

Now clearly Burnett is afraid the viewers don’t understand the crucial impact of prior votes on the upcoming sure-thing tie vote, so he clarifies how it works real good. Resident pundit Tom explains the theory of past lives, reincarnation and karma on Survivor.

Tom: Its all new but it all comes down to what went before.

And there you have it in a nutshell.

Lindsey: (confessional) I’m trying to save my own tick-scarred butt. I don't want them to have any clue about my situation.

OK, well as long as they have less than or equal to the number of clues you have, I guess you’re safe.

I set a goal for myself, and I am the kind of person that when I set a goal I'm going to achieve it. Nothing will stop me, not even my own whining, bawling, lazy-ass, “nyah-nyah I’m not voted out tonight and one of you old guys is but I won’t say who” inability to shut my scratchy yap up.

Hmmm. No foreshadowing here.

Lex: (to Tom) I’m afraid Boran may have canned MamaKim, thus increasing the odds that Clarence will eat her and not share with the rest of us.

Bornagains debate on whether to pass the Chicken Bill

Clarence demonstrates how the can-opening, bean-gorging, cherry-binger has really really learned his lesson.

Clarence: (confessional) I’m totally homicidal right now with chicken-killing blood lust, but uh, check me out...

Clarence: how do you guys wish to pro-ceed with this? uh, do we hear a motion on the floor to vote on our tribal chicken-relations policy?

Frank: The chickens are presently still up for debate, but we're going to wait for today's reward challenge and then probably make a decision tonight.

These guys make Congress look impulsive!
I sense Kimmi’s spirit hovering over the camp.

Teresa: (OMG, she talked!) I’d prefer eggs but I don’t know when or if it will happen, kinda like my chances of getting any face time on this show.

Clarence: (to chickens as he breaks up straw to make them nice and comfy)
Look how I do for you ingrates, and you don’t put out!

Tree mail! Oh god, here it comes, verse so bad it makes my teeth ache...

Stick with your tribe, make your way to the bottom.
Just give us your answers, that is if you got 'em.
You must work as a team, confer with your bunch.
Make a wrong move and watch the others eat lunch.

Ethan: Key word is lunch. (Stop moving in on SAC territory, soccer boy)

Ethan fantasizes about a sit-down lunch in a French bistro.
Clarence just wants dead animal pre-prepared on plate.

MamaKim: (still fixated on her thong debut on National TV)
Make your way to the bottom, that's the clue in there.

Well great, just when they could have really used Tom’s talents, he’s off in Samebubu scheming on how to plant a new “tick” in Lindsey’s bottom.

Reward Challenge: There’s No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

OK, here comes the dramatic moment when the GXA verify that they’re so screwed! We watch with suspended breath, waiting for some delicious dialogue....

Lindsey: Silas is gone, Silas is gone. OMG <click>

Jiffy: Hey, guys. Silas is gone. Surprised?

GXA: (lying through their teeth) No.

GXA sway their heads side to side in dismay; Brandon bares teeth, then all smirk just to show they’re not at all shaken or stirred.

MamaKim smirks to show she’s got the power now, and flashes the secret “L” signal.

Lex and Kelly stare in astute decoding fashion. They look at each other as if to silently High Five and say,
Got it! “L” is for Loozer!
Unfortunately...

Kelly: (thinking) That doesn’t help narrow the field!

Tom looks at Jiffy and slowly sticks out his tongue and swirls it around.
Jiffy smirks, although he has little to be proud of, because...

CBS has recycled the boring Big Brother 2 trivia challenge, the one where they all line up on bleachers, hold up cards with ABC or D, and move one step for each correct answer. Jeez, this one was lame in a back yard in LA. Can’t they do better in Africa?

And what do we have to whet the whistles of the lucky winners but--
Mounting DooDoo?

Jiffy: Tell me that's not going to taste good, Clarence.

Clarence: So good, oh baby, so good.

Jiffy:(gives em each a swallow) Okay, the Mountain Dew is just a little tease.

Brandon salivates at the thought of a little tease he left back in Texas...

Jiffy: How good is that going to taste?

So then they all get confused by Jiffy’s foreplay talk, and decide the challenge must be to make the best arousal sounds, just like they’re not at all faking it, and we get squeals and oohs and ahs and moans... nothing on Meg Ryan, but OK given their lack of recent practice.

Tom--for reasons about which we can only speculate--cuts loose with his animal snort imitations...

Jiffy snaps em back to the hard hot reality of Africa. This is where that manual practice pays off with free lunch. Manual? We’ve got that down....

OK, to the bleachers. Time to prove they know about distant oceans, lakes, safaris, ivory poaching, and the time of day, whatever bearing that has on their survival.

Things get pretty high energy when Jiffy pulls out the 50 dollar word, DIURNAL. He repeats it twice to show he can and tweaks it a little.
DI-URINAL.

Fortunately for Samebubu, they sat Big Tom out on the “cerebral” challenge, thus subtly reflecting the consensus that he would surely lose a tie-breaker trivia quiz to Brandigirl.

Kelly: You guys, I nailed this on my SAT’s. I told you I got 1520, now shut up and let me win this one for you!

Well, the brainiac’s right, but Boran knows the money word too. It comes down to the Borans blowing it by picking Hippo over Leopard for the fifth animal in the Big Five of Big Game. (you’d think Hunter Frank might know).

MamaKim proves yet again that there’s no reward challenge she can’t lose for her tribe as she whispers: “I know that one.” WRONG. “Sorry” says Weakest Link, and hungry Clarence wishes they HAD canned her.

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Too bad no one picked Tiger (can you believe CBS made that a choice?) Now I don’t get to say “Tigers in Africa?” in my best Monty Python voice. What the hell, let’s do it anyway. All together now: “Toygers in Ahfreaka?”

Gratuitous Pig-Out Scene

Samebubu Girls: OMG <click> Chocolate!

Let the full orgasm emulation begin, as we’re treated to avid face-stuffing by Kelly, sorority girl, who stuffs it like a real pro.

Lex: (seizes his chance to play Tribal Fun Daddy) It’s a real picnic, kids, we’re all breaking bread PROPER!

AMEN and pass the Mountain Dew, let’s drink a toast to our new dysfunctonal team du jour!

So while the “we got the canned food, spices and marmalade” tribe pigs out in front of the mush-eating, eggless, merge-anxious tribe, the Borans actually hang their tongues out for the camera in a truly pathetic Pavlovian display.

Well you knew that Burnett only showed us how much they wanted this win because they were gonna lose it, right? Nothing about this game is fair.
Sure they have chickens and clean water back at their camp...
but the chickens ain’t on the plate yet.

Samebubus Joke About the Old Heave-ho

ALL: OMG, look at Kimmi’s belly, she’s got a new pooch like she’s preggers. (Wow, it’s like we switched to Friends for a minute!) Let’s all mock her nausea and make her laugh til she loses it, because that’s what friends do!

Don’t like puke, spew or barf, on us, do it over there... just let a “little bit” out and swallow the rest. (Yes, they really give her this sage advice, and here’s another place where she might get her nickname!)

Kelly: Luckily we were all able to hold it down.

Oh really? And that’s the end of it? Did they not see the auction aftermath in the Outback?

Am I the only one who snickers at the thought of them “running” all night? Let us not forget they dare not leave the boma after dark. Tent nothing, the whole camp’s gonna smell like ass tonight. Lucky us, they edit that part out, but we still know what happened. I pity the poor cameramen.

Now the “Remnants” once again show their cluelessness by imagining that Frank begged Silas to vote with him and T-Bird, upon which Loyal Silas naturally rebutted “Strength and Honor, no way!” <ping> So Frank--vengeful bastard--narked on Silas, revealing those mean-spirited prior votes.

Lindsey: Frank went ballistic on Silas when he wouldn’t ally with them, and it was a total showdown!

Shades of High Noon, Frank and Silas face off in the dusty Main Street as the “good guys” cheer the Strong and If-Only-He-Were-Silent Silas and boo Sheriff Frank. Each man hits the other with 3 shots, but Honorable Silas turns his back on Sheriff Frank, who guns down his unarmed (with wits, that is) opponent with his 3 prior votes... NOT!!!

How about 5 hits to Silas, all inflicted by shooting himself in the foot?

Kelly swallows this crap, far as we can tell–but then we never can tell what Kelly swallows.

Let The Lindsey Rehab Begin

Oh no, they’re trying to redeem Lindsey in an oh so subtle reflection on her past mistakes:

Lindsey: When we had the upper hand, I gloated and I was excited and I felt like I was the “Queen of the Land”-- which was a bad move on my part. And I think they were definitely out for some kind of revenge.
Her newly found self-awareness and insight into human nature stuns us

Brandon: looks to me like we're the ones over the pit now.

Visions of the piggies on a spit over a pit, slowly twisting over the flames...
Once again, Brandy proves the most savvy of the lot. Scary but true.

Bornagains Dream of Fried Chicken and Omelette du jour

Back at the ranch, Clarence dreams of future media whoredom as a
“Manly man food critic”! He won’t be eating at KKK’s shi-shi restaurant for sure. He’ll be the lord of meat and greasy fries land, where the pancakes better be “fluffy” dammit!

Frank, of all people, endorses the “poultry must play” theory, putting to use his 12-day study of the GXA’s egg-laying habits. He proceeds to create a “Womb with a View” for the chickens.

Clarence, proving his acting versatility, switches from his Manly Critic role to his impression of Old Testament Yahweh (sharpens up his cutting tools).

Clarence: Yea, if they but lay one egg and lo, if morning reveals an egg to my sight, then lo, I shall be merciful and spare them. But take heed and be forewarned ye chickens, yea albeit I have conversed with each of you personally, I would as soon be the instrument of your consumption as pat your fluffy little heads. According to my covenant, ye have until the morrow to repent your non egg-laying ways...

And he chuckles his way to the sack, confident that tomorrow’s dinner special at the Bornagain Diner’s gonna be Fried Chicken, mmm.

Samebubu Sleepover
Night 16

Lindsey: Nyah, nyah, we all totally get along here in our NEW tribe, Frank. Nyah nyah nyah, you don’t know it, but if you could see us now you’d shit...

Lindsey: (confessional) Kelly seems pretty genuine.
(Lindsey, do you not get the irony of using “seems” and “genuine” in the same sentence? Gee, Kelly ACTS genuine too, she APPEARs to like you all.)

Brandon: I haven't been trying to be that extra nice to them. I really haven’t.
(I find that hard to believe, I really do.)

Bornagains Toy With Clarence
Day 17, Breakfast Hour

MamaKim crawls into the cage to see if anything’s gotten laid yet in this tribe, cuz it sure isn’t her, and Surprise! Mama does a little sneaky dance for the early risers and reveals the not at all planted by CBS EGG. So they all conspire to set the egg out on the tray to torment Clarence... who wakes up ready to let loose some bloodlust on his sacrifices....

Clarence: Aw, hell no! Come on! Oh, no.

ALL: No chicken for you!

Clarence: I hate you and you and you and you, you did it just to spite me. So whatever. You laid the smallest egg possible. I hate those chickens. Scramble that egg and it’d disappear.

So finally they let poor Clarence in on the joke that they always intended to have chicken for dinner; they’ve just been funning with him.

Ethan: We tormented him a little bit, but we decided we were going to kill a chicken and eat it for dinner anyway.

This is the second time Ethan’s said “little bit.” Wonder if it’s a nickname spoiler.
Cut from pan of glowing chicken parts to Ethan, in Close-up.

A six inch string of glistening drool descends from his mouth... and just when you think it’s finally gonna detach, it does the amazing gravity reversal thing and retracts towards his chin...

That’s just nasty and cruel to show us that, Burnett!
Do you know how many ladies at SB have this pretty boy’s pic in their sig line?

Now the OMG counter <click> comes out again as they chow down and compare it to Thanksgiving, and go on about how everyone had a hand in preparing it, in case we didn’t get that they are the good, thankful, teamworking tribe.

Frank wishes he’d been with them from Day One. Yeah, Frank, and when MamaKim wanted to dump the water you would have been quick to endear yourself to these guys too...
Hello, Frank, on Day One, this was the MORON tribe!

***********************************

Cut to Mountain Dew Code RED commercial--coincidentally, RED would be the tribal color of the Mountain Dew winning team. Hmmm. Not to imply that the challenge was rigged, certainly not.

************************************

Samebubu Plans for TC, Although They Haven’t Lost Immunity Yet
Day 18

Kelly: (to Lex) I'm such an idiot! I'm like what does this mean, what's the “L”? and I'm like, oh, Lindsey.

MamaKim was doing this, too (waves limp wrist)
I think it's “B” in sign language, I don't know sign language.
Honey, everyone knows THAT sign language. Where have you been?

Kimmi: Kelly’s a Walking Thesaurus and Lex is, well, smarter than Tom.

Cut to Tom snoring obliviously for subtle commentary...

Brandon: There's no way I can lose a trivia quiz to him, I can't imagine what question they would ask that he would know and I wouldn't.

Brandy, I’m sure you’re the Queen of trivia, but how about this killer question:

Probe: Describe the location of the water hole.
No Brandon, we cannot accept “over thataway.”

Brandon: I thold the girls I'll justh havth to thtake a bullet for them. I’ll even bend over to do it. Group hug now!

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Bornagains Military Training Camp

Screw the lame tree-mail, it’s Archery for Immunity and Frank’s our Man.

ALL: Frank, Frank, show us your shooting technique!

Frank: (instructs Clarence on the fine points)
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You are loaded right now, it's like having a ...gun... in your hand.

Translation: do not release prematurely, no matter how primed you are.
Timing is everything.

Clarence: (confessional) This is Frank's thing, without him I wouldn't have known all this little stuff. So I hold back for...did you say one minute Frank?

Immunity Challenge: Pin Your Shaft on the Whatchamacallits

Jiffy: I’m taking the immunity idol back now, Lindsey.

Lindsey: Boohoo, my special friend...

Jiffy: Let ME demonstrate how to properly hold this symbol of prowess...

Holds it in one hand, with base pointed at his groin so it looks to us like it’s sprouting erect although admittedly sideways out of his body.

Cut to shot of the arrows looking for a target...
Cut to Frank and Clarence, potent shooters, back to shafts in waiting.
Camera zooms in on hairy-fringed targets with funny "mouths" in the centers.

OK, mock me for having my mind in the gutter, but they sure look like all-purpose orifices to me!

Mama and T-bird smile at the targets. Ethan and Brandon seem perturbed.

Jiffy: shooters, take your spot. Ready! Take your aim. Fire at will!

Lindsey, gal with a GOAL, gets first hit.

Brandon: Aaah!!!!
His flaming thingie droops limply and flops towards his shoes...
With a skip and a hop he nimbly evades...
“Thorry” (grin)
Obviously not a first-time experience,
they don’t call him “Flaming Brandy” for nothing.

Cut to Big Tom with a Big Grin
Translation: Hell no Ah’m not suhprised the Sally went and dropped the payload on her own foot. (Gender distinction's clearly not Tom’s strong suit)

Then Mad Max Lex and Manly-man Clarence whack away and get 2 more hits. Ethan connects twice...

Teacher Frank misses every shot and even plops one into the water.
Poster boy for “those that can’t do teach” slogan–not that I buy into that crap!

Even Jiffy has pity on the poor guy: “Almost, Frank...”

MamaKim scores one for the team FINALLY!

Now comes the ta-da moment:
Jiffy: Lindsey, you can win immunity, right here.
(Did Jiffy just blatantly draw attention to her need for immunity or what?)
Will she make it? NOT!!!

Ethan's up for the winning shot, we get the huge flame burst, and next thing you see Ethan flings his victorious body into the waiting arms of adoring....
Clarence? WTF?

Yep, Clarence has his arms wrapped around Ethan holding him off the ground while the other three rally round, and by the end of the hug Ethan’s knee is actually between Clarence’s thighs!
Play it in slo-mo if you don’t believe me...

Sir Lex looks highly displeased at this and aims his pissed off look straight at the heart of the Ethan-Clarence hugfest... But what can he do, Ethan is now sundered from his best pal until the who-knows-when merge.

Then Ethan plants his little peck, er, kiss... smack on the cheek of the idol!

To quote dangerkitty, that’s exactly what happened and you know it!

The tribal women smile real big. Clearly, none of them know where that idol’s been sleeping for the last three days...

Sambubu Sleepover: I Wouldn’t Do It to You

As they prepare for an almost certain tie, the stage is set for scheming and backstabbing.

Lex: We'll give it our best shot.

Ouch! He actually said that? Right after his team lost the archery challenge?
Although it’s true that Old Boran acquitted themselves mightily.

Brandon (aka Brer Rabbit) to Lex: Please, please, Massa Lex, I see you got me stuck to your tarbaby, and it’s really FINE with me, I mean it, it’s FINE. So, please, whatever you do, throw me into the briar patch and vote for me!

Duh, Brandon, that’s not the way the story goes. Brer Rabbit begs NOT to be thrown into the briar patch... it’s called reverse psychology, dude.
Check it out.

Well, we all see Brandon and Lindsey give it up to Big Ears Kelly... So let’s cut to Lindsey and her juicy rationalizations for betraying her best girl.

Lindsey: (confessional) Selfishness is part of the game. Brandon screwed me. This isn't cheating, this is just making the right move for myself.

Translation: Lindsey’s definition of NOT cheating: helping oneself.
Where was this girl when Clarence needed a defense lawyer?

Lindsey: (to Tom) So what if we vote against Brandon, then what happens?

Tom: Sounds like a kind of a merger to me. (In your dreams, goat man)

Lindsey: And if we say we’re gonna and then we don't?

Honey, you are just the dumbest player ever now

Tom: if not, it's going to hurt everybody later, capisce?

Tom now channels DonCarlo!

Lindsey Confesses and Shrives Her Soul

Lindsey-buys-a-Clue: I'm kind of in a no-win situation.

So then of course we get the obligatory speech to keep us all in suspense:

Lindsey: whatever will I do, go with my personal morals and ethics, or do whatever I need to do to win? I just won’t know until I get to Tribal Council!

Tribal Council: It’s Like INTENSE, Man

Of course Probe (that’s his TC persona) starts right in with the Trust issues.

Probe: Hey Brandon? Do you really TRUST any of these idiots you call friends?

Probe: Kim, is this game more ethically challenging than you anticipated?

Kimmi: It’s more “Men-I-would-consider-seducing-to-win” challenged than I anticipated. (OK, she didn’t say that out loud.)

Kimmi: There’s no middle road between the high road and the low road, (yes, Lindsey, I'm talkin to you!) so remember to take the high road tonight and leave me and Brandon some options.

Don’t you love it when they show vote after vote only to fade out when the pen touches paper? Wait, Lindsey’s making the downstroke on what must be a B, because a T wouldn’t start so close to the margin...

Lindsey: I hate having to vote for this person, I'd rather vote for myself right now, because this is miserable.

OMG, she’s gonna do it! She’s gonna save her ass and send Queen Brandy on safari!

It’s a real “To Tell the Truth” moment all right ... Lindsey, or Brandy? We wait in agony for Probe to say, “Will the real Queen of the land please stand up?”

Probe: Lindsey and Big Tom are tied.

That B was for Big Tom. Hah! SB Spoilers cheer wildly!

Lindsey: it’s all about me, bye everyone...

Probe: Park it, Lindsey! I’m not done with you yet. First you must plead your hopeless case even though we all know it’s useless, because whatever these old Boran said about a new tribe this Samebubu tribe is cursed to remain forever divided in the land.

Big Tom: Well, only thing I can say is I'm who I am, I'm nobody different, and I'm not going to change, so you got Big Tom here and that's the way it is.

He really helps out the summary writer, doesn’t he? No need to change a word.

Lindsey: On the way here, my dignity took over. I don't care if I'm voted out tonight because I didn't vote for a friend of mine, and that makes me the happiest person on the face of the earth. So I'm not going to ask you to keep me, because I'm leaving with my pride. That's all. (floodgates burst)

Oh, Dammit all to hell. Sheesh. She found her dignity and integrity when this writer was salivating for a total GXA scorched earth betrayal scene all week. That does it. She forces me to pull out an Insider clip from earlier that day.

Brandon: I wouldn’t do it to you. That’s not my nature.
Yeah, Brandon, we know you wouldn’t do it to the GIRLS.
We know that’s not your nature, so this isn’t a huge moral victory for you, is it?

I’m not gonna look like a Big Ass on TV.
Yes, he really said that with a “straight” face.
Or did he say he wasn’t gonna look like he HAS a Big Ass on TV?
Hard to tell.

And at that moment, before she ever got to TC, Lindsey had her epiphany.
She realized she had already bared her ass on TV, and there’s a limit to how much Big Ass backstabbing butt-saving treachery you can pull on Reality TV (unless you’re on Big Brother 2 or Love Cruise) and still go home and watch the show with mom and dad and hold your head high.

So she sucked it up and took the bullet that Brandon was begging to take for her, and yeah, she cried, they all cried, what a surprise and how touching.

Final Votes with Voiceover

Big Tom: (singing) "She caught the katy, and left me the mule to ride"

Lindsey’s Last Words

OK, cut right here!
I refuse to quote any more of this “The Bitch Ain’t So Bad” storyline!

Luckily, we have some more suitable closure on Lindsey from the Massa hisself: Big Tom.

Big Tom: (From Insider Ep 6...I’m just going to translate the Tomspeak)

One thing I will say about Lindsey, she don’t care. She farts like a bay mule.

I told her down at the watering hole, “You need to wash that ass. Any woman who farts like you, I swear you got some cheesecake and you bound to have dingleberry balls big as coconuts on your hind end, so bend over and let me wash it.”

You’d think that might offend her, but no,
She says, “Ah shit, they’s all dry”

Now there’s a blonde, I mean a hard girl, she could care less...
I’d put her in the room with any man and she’d fart him out of the bed.

By god, a woman like that, you gotta get right in next to her...
She’s hard to ride, short hair, hard to hold.”

*******************************************

Ahem. I'm fairly sure Tom just compared Lindsey to a GOAT!
Well, if she's not a nanny, she's certainly a ninny.
Buwha-ha-ha-ha!!!

Th-a-a-a-nk You Big Tom for the visions of dingleberries dancing in our brains, just in time for the holidays!